hurt...

wow...i just had a very rude awakening...that my parents are running outta money...after the bills they're almost outta money...i've been noticing it but it just hit home...and i don't have a job, so i can't help...and its not just that...it's bcuz i'm so messed up in the head that i probably need a shrink and my parents don't know i'm like "this" and we have no money...and it's the realization...ha *sarcastic laugh*...my life is slowly deteriorating all over again...except in slow motion this time...we're pretty much broke...the guy who i'm crushing on is moving at the end of this month...my friends have death wishes...i'm losing everyone who i care about...and thro all of this...i'm trying to be happy...but thats not even an option anymore as in seeing that my brain no longer has a happy section in it...i guess i'm just afraid...that all the old pain will come back along w/ the new...that i'll lose everyone i care about all over again...the first time it burns, but the second time it kills...plz tell me its not all in my head...that i'm not just some severely disturbed person...i'm sry for this post...it's just that i needed to vent otherwise i might've done something really stupid...lots of love to my fav. guys;] and shout out to my chillaxin' gal!
love u all SO much! l8r fellow aliens;]
me<3