me...

uk how wen u have the whole family together at x-mas u always have to look at older pictures of wen u were little...ya well our family does...and guess wat, i had to sit there and look happy as i looked at pictures from wen i was little...i think i grew even paler in the face than i already was (i'm sick and i already am pale) it felt like someone was stabbing me over and over again...it hurt so bad just to look at these little pictures of me wen i was like 5...that reason was bcuz i was happy...
my face glowed with it and i had color in my face and my eyes sparkled...now, i am not happy, i am pale as hell, and my eyes do sparkle...except only wen i'm crying...and the thing that hurt even worse is that...i was actually very pretty...i was a care-free child, and i grew too mature too fast...if i try to remember wen i was 5-10 and i don't remember anything...i don't remember being a kid...and it kills me inside bcuz ur only a kid for so long, then u have ur parents saying "wake up and smell the coffee" or "welcome to the real world baby"...and as far as they know, u could already b living in it...and...and...it just reminds me of why i'm sad which makes life bite even more...cuz it tells me strait up, "u were once happy! wat the hell happened to u!" and its a rude awakening i get all the time...so the next time u tell someone to grow up...let them be a kid for a little longer...cuz there's not much of it left...
me<3