Wrap Up...

ya u can take from the tile of wat this entry is gonna b about...let's see...we'll start from last january... well, school is about a little more than half-way over...i have just gotten a really sweet bf...his name was kyle (he's not dead, i say was bcuz he moved to iowa)...i gained a bunch of new friends and everything seems pretty good...i have just come out of my dark days (this was wen i was young, stupid and naive) i thought i was depressed, i only wore dark colors, didn't feel good most of the time, i pretty much stopped trying to look good, so i would wear a sweatshirt and jeans...and then once i got together with kyle, everything got better, i started trying again and got outta my "dark days"...but wen i gained him, i lost my best friend, c i would always ask him out for her, and he would always say no...and i secretly liked him...so he told me he was moving in april and then my friend asked him out for me and he said yes...so i lost a friend kinda...we just weren't close anymore...then that same friend started this eating disorder thing and it turns out she lied and was eating at home...and just little happenings like that til the end of the year, i got really sick after that and never got the color back in my face since then...anyways moving on...we thought those little troubles were horrible and the end of the worldish...ya were we DEAD wrong...so summer came, and i stayed home alone for the whole thing...bored...cuz all my neighborhood is preps or little little kids...so i just stayed inside, i went here and there but mostly stayed at home...the summer went by fast and slow...then all of a sudden school was the next day...this year was last minute shopping and my mother getting angry cuz they didn't have the right things for on the list...and then school started...some of my friends were split up into different houses...so we're not as close anymore cuz we have nothing to talk about...then the first week went by and it already felt like a month and a half...i soon found out that a friend of mine was in a gang and i learned more and more until i was in danger...so they protected me...i slowly drifted away from him tho...we fought and he didn't forgive me for things that i don't even know that i did...and then my bf, justin (long distance) broke up w/ my bcuz of a picture...ya that hit home...and thats wen i became depressed and guess wat he said he loved me and he lied the whole time...this is wat made me depressed...then we met turner;] and got to know turner a lot...and now we're helping get thro life as best he can...even tho he reluctantly tells us wat goes on w/ his life...but i thank u...u need to let us care;] so ya...and here i am...still broken, depressed, and suicidal a bit (but too chicken, cuz i'm afraid of wat i'll miss) and single...tho some ppl have asked me out i said yes but realized that i wasn't happy and on too much of a emotional roller coaster for anyone who didn't know wat was wrong had to deal w/...so this is where my saga ends...where i meet a bunch of new ppl who are cool and slightly diabolic...and a new crush on another person who's moving, this time farther away...i'm glad i'm in this mess i call my life tho...cuz it makes me the rockin' kick ass person i am;]...lol...jkjkjk but it makes the peculiar me, ME;]!!!!!!!! lots of love this end of 2007 and hello baby to 2008!
love all around to my fellow pears<3!!!
me<3 blessed holidays and
don't drink and drive!!!!!!!!

fuuny stuff

yup u can read so i'm not gonna repeat myself...ya found reall funny stuff from my assignment notebook...ya they're pretty cheesy but idc how foody they are...they're just plain funny!(color)
the trouble w/ real life is that there's no background music
i have not lost my mind; it's backed up on a disk somewhere
if mathematically u end up w/ the wrong answer, try multiplying by the page number
a rose by any other name would likely be "deadly thornbearing assault vegetation"
if @ first u don't succeed, destroy all evidence that u tried
it is generally agreed that "hello" is an appropriate greeting, bcuz if u entered a room and said "goodbye" it would confuse a lot of ppl
forgiveness-the weak can never forgive. forgiveness is the attribute of the strong
if ur not living on the edge, ur taking up too much room
if the #2 pencil is the nost popular, y is it still #2
if u don't care where u are, then u ain't lost
self-esteem isn't everything, it's just that there's nothing w/o it
OK, i'm weird! but im saving up to become eccentric
Never say "oops!"; always say, "AH, interesting!"
hope is the most exciting thing in life
i do visit reality, altho it's on a tourist visa
uniqueness-normal is not something to aspire to, it's something to get away from
flying is not inherently dangerous; crashing is
if u try to fail and succeed which have u done
i used to have a handle on life, then it broke
choices-it is our choices that show wat we truly are, far more than our abilities
i like walks, especially wen they are taken by ppl who annoy me
one thing u can learn by watching the clock: it passes the time by keeping it's hands busy
everywhere is walking distance if u have the time
change-if u can't change ur fate; change ur attitude
normality will be restored as soon as we're sure wat it is
a positive attitude may not solve all ur problems, but it will annoy enough ppl to make it worth the effort
the human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter
leadership has been defined as the ability to hide ur panic from others
never go to a doctor whose office plants have died
how come we u mix water and flour together u get glue, & then u ass eggs and sugar and u get cake? where does the glue go?
integrity-the first thing is to be honest with urself, u can never have an impact on society if u have not changed urself
if everything seems to be going well u have obviously overlooked something
courage is...judgment that something else is more important than fear, the brave may not live forever but the cautious do not live at all
happiness-joy is very infectious, therefore be always full of joy
it might look like i'm doing nothing, but at the molecular level i'm really quite busy
u can not shake hands w/ a clenched fist
imagination is the only weapon in the war against reality
imagination-worry: a misuse of ur imagination
well...that's all, i'm gonna post probably like 5 other posts today...and if any of u who know me could call me...ya, greatly appreciated...watch turners gonna be busy tonight...so call me, idc if its late, just leave me a message if id pick up...k?...kapiesh? ok good...ta ta for now!!
l8r fellow celebraters!
me<3

poems...

ya ya ik ik ur like "how come she's giving us her fucked up poems u said u were only gonna tell us one or two before 12pm..." lade da de da ya well here's my saying, my ass and u know wat my blog my rules...sry i felt like talking to an invisible pissy person cuz i have nothing better to do w/ my time...o well...u'll just have to deal w/ my peculiarness and oddness...so here are my "fucked up" poems that tell the truth, might i add...so here u goo ppl...(each ones a diff poem if u fail to see that)
I thought i could make a difference, but all i did was make another mark...
I can't keep up this role of "the perfect little actress"...the pain's building up...it's piling on and on...one blow after another when i'm already on the ground
ur lucky i'm done for now cuz igtg...
l8r peeps!
me<3

for cereal...

no really, for cereal...turner ask her out...bcuz she might start liking someone else...so screw the mental note...u gatta make a move soon...i'm saying this for ur own good...if u still like her like that...ask her out...ben and them won't harm her...i'll make sure of that...and jamie and the angels won't harm her either, i talked to jamie i can convince him not to...that's a promise, (cuz then they'll get a visit from a very angry girl, & they do not want that)...well...on a happier subject...u should, everyone either thinks u are or should...even parents...so i say u should...ur very cute together...love both of u...stay safe!(same w/ the rest of the guys;])
l8r new years lovers! me<3

OMG!!

ok...seriously...can someone plz comment me...like seriously...cuz i'm bored as hell...ik its new years and stuff but i mean just some random person whos checking out blogs comment me...even if it's just hi i don't care...cuz i seriously feel alonish right now...wow...made up a new word, i feel proud...i think i should make my own dictionary:) ok...i'm done ranting about being alone right now...but seriously...plz comment me or send me a link to ur blog or something...l8r gators!
me<3

usual...

it's crazy, this life of mine...dealing w/ crazy and awesome guys, fighting my fate, the crush of a life time...and if any of my friends are reading this...i love u guys SOOOO (many more o's) much...ur amazing and i could never live w/o u...so don't u DARE leave!...uk who u r:|...but new subject...anyways...call me PEAZ!! on cellie would b preferred...miss u and luv u all...ha ha, i don't think technos afraid to call me anymore;] he has guts...and he actually is quite persuasive in his own way...he very mysterious...lol...ok...new subject, sry folks;] (blushes) ummm, shoot...gtg so call me PLZZZZZZZZ!!!!!! ty to all!
later fellow tuners (as in music listeners)
me<3

odd...

NO...i'm not refering to myself...altho i should b...but lets not get into that...anyways...i learned that i can easily mess w/ ppls minds...ya, its not something i'm proud of...and sadly/scarily i'm really good at it...well i apparently have a power over techno...mb cuz i like him a lot and i make him feel bad (unintentionally of course) and i think i kinda make him wonder how a girl can b so peculiar;] that's me...the girl who can make guys wonder if she's actually as odd as she sounds;] but ya...i'm really sad that he's moving...i REALLY don't want him to move...he said he'd meet me tho if he got the chance...but i just hope he doesn't expect much...cuz, ya i'm nothing great...and he amazingly cares if i do something to myself...even if i'm just clumsy...i tell him he shouldn't care, and he says he should...i ask him y...but he just says he doesn't know...o well...calley could try to get it outta him...he actually is really sweet...for being on the evil-side he's really nice...and he's actually pretty great...i can't wait to meet him, i just wish he could wait to c me...i'm not the greatest looking, (calley/turner dont hit me...but uk its true, and don't give me that shit about putting urself down, hypocrites;] take ur own advice) but we'll make it work...and calley i dont think he likes me...he hasn't even met me...but i kinda like him, ok ya, i really like him and i've never met him...so ya...ok ya...changing subject now...and ben too...i can apparently mess w/ his mind...and i foil they're plans on making turner "sleep"...u too calley...but ya we apparently have that kind of a power...but thay say it's bcuz we would cry and it would upset us but i don't think that's it;] but i'll play along...for now...idk...i guess i have a way w/ them...idk...i like talking to them tho...it just pisses me off that they're so against turner...otherwise they're not that bad...well...at least not to me or calley...and turner...nothing will ever happen to us...techno and ben probably wouldn't do anything to us...i think i had a way w/ angel and jamie too...i dont think that they'd hurt us...i promise...we'll be careful we'll always have something to defend ourselves just incase...no offense to any of u...but just incase...and turner...i think u should thank them...the actually stopped u from bleeding to death...and they didn't have to do that...they could've easily let u die...i hope ur back feels better...well it's time for me to go...btw techno...i do expect a call tomorrow;] i promise i don't bite...and ben pick a name soon b4 i give u the name the happy bunnies;] lol
well peace apricots...lots of love and blessings...and prayers too...stay safe u crazy boys! u too u crzy gal;] dont get introuble;] u teen rebel u...lol...so peace for real my fruity friends(n/o)
love me<3
p.s. n/o means no offense just so u all know;] so l8r fellow gators!

I am Legend...

ya...it has some kind of ring to it doesnt it...ya it was a pretty good movie if u like the creepy mutated sci-fi kinda stuff...ya i was scared for parts of it...seriously wish my bf (the invisible one that i don't have;]) was there instead of my parents...ya that woulda made the movie GREAT! and i wouldnt of actually bothered to tell u a synopsis of the movie...so ya...my stomach hurts real bad...hmmm i'll probably call the guys l8r...calley i would call u but ur either talking to them or u've already used up ur half hour;] grrrrrrrrrr i have to take passport pictures tomorrow...ugh...oh and turner...if u could call me that would b great cuz i think ur parents are getting really pissed at me n calley for calling all the time;] and i think it bothers them even more that we're girls;P and stop trying to sabotage ben's car so that he n techno can't come...if they were thinking of doing anything...i woulda been ready...i think of everything b4 hand...so don't worry...if i really needed to i could probably persuade techno to let me go...and i think i have a way w/ ben too...but idk...i won't persuade them unless i have to...but i am VERY impressed turner how u actually pulled everything off w/ his car...wat time did ben actually come back that night? or did he get a ride...hmmmmm...and stop worrying! calley and i will be fine if we meet them...btw we're thinking of making a date w/ all of us at DQ sometime and u can't do anything about it cuz they can easily walk there:P (sticking tongue out!;] ) and hows ur head...and calley hows ur breathing...and sleeping= | u both worry me...u two are something else (meant in a good way)...and yes, i do thnik that u two should go out...i mean c'mon ur parents even think so! so seriously...screw the mental note...if anything happens to her i'll b there to help out...that's a promise...i have to watch out for her anyways;] it'll b easier to cuz then u'll be together and easier to watch if ur by eachother...and u'd b happy...see how well it could work out? well i'm gonna call u boys so expect a call...later fellow peaches!
me<3

movie

ya...the i am legend we're seeing is probably @ 12:00 pm
crap gtg...so call my cell
byes

heyy

ya well...its confession time...techno idk if i creep u out or not but...i still like u a lot...and i really hope u don't move...and even if ur on the other side...o well...and i promise i won't kick ur ass or try and make u feel guilty...or mess w/ ur head;]...so ya...just to let uk...ur not the wrong one...like the others...u might be one of the first who rnt...so sry if i creep u out or anything...and turner if u read this or calley...or anyone really (of my friends/acquaintances) call my cellie peaz:) preferably in the morning...and if u want u can meet me at the majestic for i am legend...idk wat time tho...but ya...call me peaz
lots of love to all<33
me<3

oh! n techno outta curiosity if u happen to read this...am i ur friend?

sry, sry, sry...

well...here's my sorry post for tonite...wow...i feel like a real bitch lately...so sry to everyone who knows me...(calley/turner don't hit me)...well...i'm sry to techno that i make him feel guilty all the time and sry for probably creeping the hell outta u from this blog...turner i'm sry i make u feel guilty 24/7...ya i'm a real bitch to u...sorry sorry sorry sorry (many more sorry's but my hand's cramping up;] ) again sorry for making u feel guilty wen u have a bunch of shit already going on...my bad, my bad!...Ben...ya well i guess i'm sry for saying that i just wanted to meet u so i could persuade u...that's actually not it at all...i promise if u n techno come visit me...i won't persuade u...or at least i'll try not to...sometimes i can't help it, like making ppl feel guilty...so if i do, its not intentional...i actually want to meet the non-evil-killer side of you...if that makes sense...same w/ u techno...and sry bout ur car and giving him ideas*sheepish smile* didn't think he'd actually use it;]...and calley...i'm sry i make u feel guilty too...of course it's not intentional i just do sometimes...so sry for being an ass...and sry for making u a teen rebel;]...ya really sry about that...altho i think turner can b a part of it w/ me too;]...so ya sry to everyone pretty much...so peace fellow..umm...ummmm...ya well u can fill in that blank tonight;]
so peace!
me<3

wow...i should just leave

its amazing...i torture my self...i listen to music that brings back so many memories...and then i feel so alone...and promises have been broken...and someone has died...and crazily that person is me...i've died over and over again...and it won't stop...the tears keep flowing...and so does the pain...if there is someone out there who actually cares about a total stranger...i hope you spread ur good heart...bcuz that's wat this world lacks...the ability to put others in front of urself...so if ur actually one of the few who can do that...right on...and if u can't...well start trying god damnit...sry, i'm just in a really shitty mood...forgive me..i'll stop being all bitchy now...but that's wat our world lacks...the ability to care for a stranger whom u've never met...so peace fellow ppl of this screwy world...
me<3

again sry for my bitchyness

free hugs...

ok...if i were walking outside right now...and saw a random guy on the street w/ a sign saying, "FREE HUGS" i would so go up to him and give him the BIGGEST hug in the world...cuz that's all i need right now...a hug...to know that every thing's gonna b alright...and that i'm not totally alone in this fucked up place we call life...i don't care if its ben, angel, techno, turner, or any creep on the street...all i need is for someone to care enough to let me know that wat happens to me matters & that someone actually will try to understand...thats all i guess...and theres a link right next to this post that says free hugs...click on it...its quite intriguing...yes i did just use a big word, and i DO know wat it means...but u can figure out wat it means on ur own...it made this emo girl smile, so it could work for u too...
peace lovers!
" Sometimes, a hug is all what we need."
me<3
P.S. u NEED to watch that video...it made me cry and wish instead of being at home on my computer i was walking the streets getting hugs and feeling less alone than i do now...wishing u and ur friends the huggiest night...virtual hugs to all who read this<3

plz...someone help me

well...i am screwed...once again...and i don't think anyone can help me out this time...techno (the guy who i REALLY REALLY like) is most likely moving, to north carolina...and that's like 4 states away! and i still haven't met him...but i've made him feel like shit...and he's the traitor i told u bout earlier...*sighs* and i think he's really hurt...cuz he wasn't talking to me...like at all...and...and...i think he's really hurt(by me...he said he had to, he had to do it...but idk...i feel kinda bad) and ben...ben ben ben...he said he wouldn't meet me cuz i would probably kick his ass...and he kept testing me and testing me...like pretty much breaking turners arm...and...and he said that if i'm persuasive, he's screwed...cuz i asked him if i persuaded him to leave turner alone would he...and he said probably...we really need to meet him...and i freaked him out w/ my background check and i told him about my plan if anything "accidentally" made turner "fall asleep" that he would have dire consequences...and he understood very well...sry this is more to calley than any other random person so ya...and i made a deal with him on the fone (cuz i had one of those breathing attacks that i get)...that he would stop hurting turner for the rest of the time while i was on the fone...and then i negotiated that he wouldn't hurt him until 20 minutes after i hung up...and i said not a second before...and i told techno to watch him...i shoulda done at least an hour...i'm an idiot! i coulda done probably two hours...damn it!!!!!! (sry more to myself) and then ben said he'd mutilate turner the second the 20 minutes were up...and i don't think turner was that grateful...but i tried to buy him a little more time to recover from popped ribs and a broken arm...i need to call them...ok u wanna know wat seriosuly is creepy...i called turners house earlier and guess who picks up...BEN and turner didn't even pick up the damn fone...i mean come on! and they were on the fone this morning and they won't hack my fone anymore tho...at least thats wat they say...o n ik how ben got my number...c wen turner was knocked out, a piece of paper fell out and it had my cell and home # on it and he just put it in his fone...ya...and i talked to aaron...he's doing good, his shoulder just kinda aches...he's fine and dandy to beat on turner tho...along w/ angel...oh oh oh and guesss wat they did today...they played HOCKEY!!! all against one...and guess who that lucky one was? turner of course, that lucky ducky...i told ben we weren't coming on monday so that maybe he'll come and we'll say that we won't come to turner so that he won't tell ben to leave...id think turner realizes that i can make ben leave him alone does he...and probably angel too...*Sighs* they all lack logic...i'm gonna apologize to techno tomorrow...and ben said he'd explain things to me l8r...but i can't member wat they are...my god damn memory...it blanks out at the stupidest times, like a MAJORLY important times...hmmm let me see is there anything else that i need to update u on...o they think i need to go to the hospital more than turner...lol...they say i should get my breathing thing checked out...but w/e i'm living, and slightly breathin its all good (for now, calley don't hit me...and don't b a hypocrite...cuz uk ur doing the same thing...*gives u very skeptical look*) we need to c them anyone of them we need to at least meet one...cuz thats all it'll take to get things to work better for turner...is if i can persuade him *him/them, meaning anyone from the "dark side"* to leave him alone or go lighter on his sentence...just ANYTHING...we gotta try anything and EVERYTHING we have...we got to...we just got to...if you have any solutions for me...plz comment...would be FOREVER grateful...lots of love around this fucked up world...
peace bloggsters
me<3
(or wats left of me<3 anyways)

wow...i feel great

ya...
*notice how sarcastic that title is*

anyways i mind as well explain it...so ya i meet new ppl who are supposedly horrible but idk how bad they are in general...lets see i talked to ben for the first time, and angel...see ben refuses to meet me...like absolutely REFUSES...so calley i think we're outta luck on monday for him...and then angel i guess doesn't mind all that much and so theres a better chance of meeting him outta anyone...then theirs that traitor...hes really starting to piss me off...i can't believe he'd do that...yes i fell for the wrong guy, AGAIN!! i seriously have bad choices in guys...and this would be techno...and guess wat...i still kinda like him too...how f****d up is that!?! so ya...he said he's definitely not going to be there on monday...i thin he's worried about me beating the shit outta him...i could too;]...but idk he also refuses like ben...and they hope that they don't meet me...so yes, i feel so utterly and completely loved by everyone...*also note thick sarcasm!* and also if i met ben i'd probably fall for him too...ya i need serious mental help...and calley breathe god damnit...i need u to wake up from sleep...it wont be a pretty sight if u don't...it'll involve me with something and bawling and turner feeling even shittier about his life and thinking it's all his fault...and then he'd avenge techno and ben...and idk bout angel...but definitely techno...
so this is all the ranting u'll probably hear from me tonight...so i guess ur lucky;]
peace my fellow bloggers and i hope u don't mind my peculiarness...*thats a regular word with ness at the end so i now created a frikin awesome smexxie new word...ik, ur all so jealous;p*
so PEACE!
me<3

so on & so on

ya well i'm back, sadly to u probably...but ya...i'm just worried sick about my guys...of course they're being dumb and not seeing how it could go wrong...i swear they need more logic in their brains...along with ben but for us he's better off as a dumb butt (***)...;] rnt i the sweetest...o well...i don't like ben so he'll just have to deal...he hasn't called me again...THANK GOD! cuz he could probably find me then...but maybe he'll follow to DQ wen we go...who knows...he's just dumb sometimes...but enough bout that kid...
lets talk about some smexxier ppl of mine...well...they r turner, techno, and calley...these r my main buds for this whole ordeal...calley is the coolest gal u'll ever find here with her sarcasm and technos just like an effing math genius who can hack things and turners a gangly guy but he's frikin strong for his slimness...(its pronounced slim-ness...not SLIME-ness)...yup then there's the plain old me...nothing too special;] (calley don't hit me) hmmm i'm trying to say something productive...ya..well...thats not working so screw that...so i'll just say meaningless stuff, like the stuff i am typing right now:D i'm a crazy one rnt i...ya right...i still have a stupid cold...it's really annoying...and my nose hurts from "tissue burn"...ik, ik i shoulda used the darn puffs brand but we didn't have any and i'm flat out broke...ok...time for a new subject...
anyways...u should look at my friends blog...o btw calley i'm gonna put it w/ my "meaningful links"...just for u cuz ur so special to me;]...i'll put it in after this enrty thinga ma-bobber...o n i still need to give u ur x-mas gift...sry for it being so late...and i have choco. for little man...and i need to give techno his name thingy ma-bobber too...and i already gave turner his x-mas present early:) (lol...inside joke...i should probably buy more cuz he's gonna run out if he already used it that one time...NO ITS NOTHING DIRTY if thats wat ur thinking...ok...i'll put u outta suspense...its a first aid kit;]...he's just very...wats the word...ummm...ha ha...."clumsy"...ya, thats how we'll put it...clumsy;]...well i'll post l8r...don't know fo sho but w/e...i'll post wenever i have time over this long break...well...peace for now *does awkward peace thing w/ hands and realizes how demented it looked and just went and sat in a corner;]* lol peace loves
muah!!<3
(as in me...in french...not in kissing...just so all thats clear...so peace for reall...promise)






















uppppp just kidding...ok really i am...peace lovers!!!!!

well...

well...this x-mas was better than i thought it was gonna be...not the greatest but not the worst...it's crazy to think that it's gonna b 2008 soon...i can't believe it...and then after the summer start my primary suffering years...great but i hope to start it out better than this year...sry for my random comments and such...so ya...just surffin the net so w/e...i'll probably post l8r...peace
me<3

me...

uk how wen u have the whole family together at x-mas u always have to look at older pictures of wen u were little...ya well our family does...and guess wat, i had to sit there and look happy as i looked at pictures from wen i was little...i think i grew even paler in the face than i already was (i'm sick and i already am pale) it felt like someone was stabbing me over and over again...it hurt so bad just to look at these little pictures of me wen i was like 5...that reason was bcuz i was happy...
my face glowed with it and i had color in my face and my eyes sparkled...now, i am not happy, i am pale as hell, and my eyes do sparkle...except only wen i'm crying...and the thing that hurt even worse is that...i was actually very pretty...i was a care-free child, and i grew too mature too fast...if i try to remember wen i was 5-10 and i don't remember anything...i don't remember being a kid...and it kills me inside bcuz ur only a kid for so long, then u have ur parents saying "wake up and smell the coffee" or "welcome to the real world baby"...and as far as they know, u could already b living in it...and...and...it just reminds me of why i'm sad which makes life bite even more...cuz it tells me strait up, "u were once happy! wat the hell happened to u!" and its a rude awakening i get all the time...so the next time u tell someone to grow up...let them be a kid for a little longer...cuz there's not much of it left...
me<3

Oh Oh OH!!

i might be getting a haircut...i'm gonna try to convince my mom to let me get bangs if they're long enough...well...i'm a blonde with long hair...and no bangs and straight hair...wat style should i go for if i need my hair to be at least shoulders length and my bangs at least down to my cheek (side bangs)...could someone help me out...thnx grateful!
me<3

OMG!!!!

Okay...
u seriously have to be kidding me...i have a cold...this is...not even gonna say how screwy this is...grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i can't beleave it!...i haven't gotten sick since Brit scared us with not eating and i got so sick and lost all the color outta my face and it never really came back...and i'm pale in the first place...great!!!...
i'm already the walking dead as it is...*sighs*...and somehow it doesn't feel like christmas, not one bit...and i think it makes depressed and emo people feel even more alone then they already are...i guess it's just too happy for us...i just put my tree up like literately two days ago...and i've maybe, MAYBE heard 20 christmas songs tops this whole season...wow, i feel like the grinch and scrooge put together into one...except at least they had a happy ending...yes, they did have happier endings...my parents are for watever reason becoming more stricter on my fone...and they want me to be isolated because?!?!?!?!?!?...well...they're good parents i guess just that their rules suck...they're lucky i have more than two friends, like my childhood...and yet i was a happy kid back then...its not my friends now that made me this way...it's just that i've had traumatic and painful experiences...that i will, sadly, never forget...all around...i just wish i could skip christmas and all the happy...cuz my head can't go back to positive, no matter how hard i try...i'm stuck in a funk forever...i'm sry if you read this and get sad on christmas...merry christmas and happy holidays!!!
lots of love to you all...
me<3

Christmas!!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!
I HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT HOLIDAY SEASON!
ME<3

christmas...

ya:\...christmas...the happiest time of year...and it's the time of year that depressed and emo people feel the most alone...this is the first christmas that i've ever wanted to skip...just skip all the presents, all the people, all the happy. I'm sry that i'm such a scrooge...but i want all the happy ppl in the world to have a great holiday season...and same to the more unhappy ppl.

this is gonna b the hardest christmas ever...because someone in my family has left...and no one but that person knows it...and sadly, that person is me. I've died...my parents don't notice it but i do. I'm not the happy kid i once was...i'm now drowned in a lifetime of sorrow that i must hide everyday. i just smile because its so much easier than explaining wats wrong...

and i majorly like this guy and i have no idea wat he looks like. But he's a sweety...he said he'd never give my number to ben...and thats good...he also likes listening into my fonecalls;]...but i talk to him every once in awhile...i'm just worried bout him...bens probably gonna b after him soon...he's like turner...he doesn't like ppl caring about him...but o well...he'll just have to deal...and calley u should know who that is...well...thats all so far...peace and happy holidays to everyone who wants happy holidays
me<3

Blog numero TREE

wow...mixed a bunch of words together;]
but i have now completed blog number 3:D
and it's called life line...it's to help people through the hard times
and my second blog is called smiles...go to my profile to get the links...hope you like
me<3

does anyone know...

ok...in current events we were talking about guns...idk y but we were...and someone brought up a splinter cell...does anyone know wat that is?
and seriously...dont say its a gun cuz i already know that...im not that stupid (no comments!)
so wat does it look like...wat does it do...est.
ty for helping me out...
me<3

pretty scary...

well...
today was ok i guess...i was checked on to c if i was alright...and the reason y i titled this scary is bcuz someone knows my cell number that shouldn't...and this is bad bcuz they could use it against my friend turner and then use it to get to me...turner nor techno knows how they got it...and i amazingly made techno talk:]...i feel accomplished...but ya he knows wat we look like calley...but he's on our side and HE'S after techno too...so ya...nothing that happy really happened today...and calley dont b pissed at me...and i'll get outta the loop for u...dw...i'm sry i interfered...i'm a bad friend...plz forgive me...well...i'll talk to everyone l8r i guess...
me<3

early mornings...

well...i've just recently decided (as in right now) that every morning that's early or sometime b4 twelve...i'll try to post a poem...i have many...but just to warn you they're pretty depressing...but i hope you enjoy them anyways... me<3 class="MsoNormal">

Everyone who is near and dear to my heart is running away…all over again…the first time it hurts, but the second time it kills…it makes you realize, how fast you can lose something that truly matters to you…and most of the time you can never get it back

heres another one since the one above is a short one...

I’m glad to see that your light is at the end of my tunnel…

these are my personal poems that i made up, so if you want to use them could you please ask me before hand...thanks...

have a great day! i'll post l8r

me<3>

adventure...

Yes...from the title u can take wat this post is gonna b about...
well...i did not fly to a foreign country, or drive to another state...i was merely walking around my town...altho my town at nite is not the greatest place to be walking around...well, kind of nite cuz today's the shortest day of the year...so it was like pitch black and not to mention there is this really stupid fog that makes it even harder to see...but ya...i was walking w/ turner and neiko...hes pretty smexie...we just talked and ran away from ppl...and the rest i can not tell you...and i did not do anything sick or gross...i just walked back to my neighborhood DQ and called my madre to come and pick me up...and then that leads all to right here, the present...
to u it may not be an adventure...but to me it was like...like a magical time that made me feel for once out in the real world...not that i'm not already in it...but a thrill of the fun and crazy things in life...well...that was my deep thought/moment for all of u:]
i hope everyone has a great nite...and i'll probably post l8r and put new things on:]
so peace<3

feel better...

awwwww...Calley...i hope u feel better hunny...
miss u @ skool!
lyl


btw...
turner...i hope u feel better too...u need to get ur stregnth up...and b careful, even tho u dont want to...ur way too important to me n calley...stay safe...and we need to all three get together over break:]

can't w8!!

peace<3

back once again...

sry...i'm surprised that i havent annoyed myself yet w/ my boring and obnoxious posts:]
here's a random Q to think about during ur day or nite...

if you could compare yourself to something wat would it be?...

• crayon, paint brush, paint
• clouds, rain,storms
• pain,sorrow,hurt
• broken, slashed,mutilated
• happy,smiley,rainbowish
• dark,dreary,bad
• evil,master-mindish,genius

well...post me and tell me wat u r...
peace

ok...

so ya...my post ain't that bad or that good but its at the ok...
crap
igtg
byes!!!

EllO

EllO

Ya...so this is my first post...its nothing special i guess...just wanna say hi to u all...this is just gonna b like a place for me to go to wen i dont have anyone to talk to:]...but Calley and Turner always make sure that i talk to them:]...so ya...i pretty much did it mostly for u guys and i wanted to say hi to Cails: p
so ya...thats all i got...and my blog will b the best kick-ass emo blog...at least thats wat i'm aiming for:]

peace
me<3